Shooting Uncle Chet's Beer

Montana Charley wanted to lighten things up a bit this week before delving into some more serious stuff over the next couple of posts. If you missed last weeks post about “Stream and Land Access” - you can find it in the “features” section at montanacharley.com.

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Charley Pike

• Feature—Shooting Uncle Chet’s Beer

• Fish ON! Walleye Whacker Contest

• Where’s this picture?

• Book Sharing—Abby the Antelope

• Coming Next Week

Yep, this time of year... I’m always reminded about the time I shot my brother’s beer.

“Chester” is five years older. He was about to graduate high school. I was a seventh grader. I was held back to start the first grade—he still says I was the slow one…

Anyway, on a late spring Saturday morning, like usual, my best friend Ray and I were stomping around north of town. We were armed with our trusty .22s, walking along some irrigations ditches. We liked to “hunt” the area’s half-dry sloughs, buckbrush draws and cottonwood bottoms.

Not looking for anything in particular to shoot—but each carrying a rifle because that’s what boys did in those days.

It was a rather uneventful morning and towards noon we started ambling back home. A jeep trail hooked up to the county road that lead back to town. Walking along we came to a culvert-crossing and decided to kick around the little dry ditch that ran under the trail thinking we might spook up a varmint or two.

We saw that one end of the culvert was plugged with tumbleweeds. Even to a couple 13 year-olds things didn’t look right. Curious, we laid our rifles down and pulled the scratchy weeds out of the culvert.

LO and BEHOLD—Hidden Treasure!!!

A full case of beer. Rainier stubbies. Twenty-four of them. All nicely tucked in a box.

Ray and I weren’t at all interested in drinking the beer. That taste was yet to be acquired. But we hadn’t popped off a shot all morning so a little target practice was in order.

We lined the bottles up on the sunny ditch bank, shaking each beer as we put it in place. What a BLAST! Literally. Pow. Pow pow, pow—pow pow, pow… The beer bottles exploded like glorious little grenades. All 24 of them. It was soooo cool.

These days I can’t be proud of the mess we made. But on that particular Saturday it was marvelous—bordering on magnificent.

Skipping to the next Monday noon...

Chet was on orders to pick me up at noon and take me home for lunch. Mom and Dad were both at work and weekend leftovers were in the fridge.

Big brother pulled up at the junior high in his ‘53 Dodge—window rolled down. Chet’s buddy Gerald was riding shotgun. Ray was with me of course. We were each other’s shadow.

“Get in you little bastards.”

Off we roared; Ray and I in the back seat. The old green Dodge was pointed north out of town. It was obvious we weren’t headed towards home…

There was talk up front about a “stash” and a quick snort.

I began to sweat.

The car slammed to a halt at the little dry ditch. The carnage from the Saturday morning massacre glinted in the noon-day sun. Neither poor Ray or I could breathe. We couldn’t look at each other. All we could do was hunker down and watch as the arms-flying, feet-stomping outrage unfolded.

Chester was furious!!! And the LANGUAGE… Lethal threats were uttered from the two high schoolers.

The ride back to town was terrifying. The two perps in the backseat didn’t move a muscle. It’s the longest I’ve ever gone without blinking.

Later, there was an oath of silence. And vows that we’d never return to the scene of the crime. Ray and I rested easier as the smoke cleared and spring passed into summer.

Thirty-some years later…

We were sharing old stories during a Christmas get-together at Mom and Dad’s house. The tales were flying. Family-bonding bubbled like the foam on our merry Holiday drinks.

Then it happened… My sweet little daughter Elle-Belle, excited to be part of the action, piped up:

“Dad, Dad, Dad! Tell ‘em about the time you shot up Uncle Chet’s beer!”

Oh crap!!! I’d at some point spilled the beans to the girls. Deja Vu. Okay, well what the heck... Statutes of limitations and all that, right?

Nope. Let’s just say once a dickhead little brother, always a dickhead little brother. And today, almost 60 years later it’s still a sore subject. It must have been hard for a couple teenagers to snag a case of beer back in the ‘60s…

I still see Ray once in a while.

We just grin about the shit we did when we were 13.

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So if you’ve checked out “Montana Charley” on Facebook you might know about these custom-made World Famous Walleye Whackers!!!

You can have your own three-piece collection of Charley's custom-made World Famous Walleye Whackers by winning this contest.

Beginning with this post and over the next two posts you’ll be given a link to an embedded answer about something walleye in Montana. It’s like “Jeopardy” except you have to sleuth out the answer and then form the question. Send your question with the answer to [email protected].

Remember it’s a three-part contest so check back next week for the link and clue to Answer #2.

Answer #1— Click this link to find the first answer.

Clue: “Right” as opposed to Left

After the end of Week #3 the answers with the questions will be published here!!!

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Okay, so what’s the name of this mountain in Montana? Send your reply to [email protected].

Last week’s photo was an easy one for anyone who has ever ventured up to the head of Hyalite Canyon south of Bozeman.

Click here for more info about Palisade Falls!

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Edie Vogel and her sister Sarah Broesder have teamed up to write and illustrate a book that promises to captivate children of all ages. Abby the Antelope goes beyond entertaining—it packs a life-lesson that’s thoughtful and easy on the senses. Children may get it; but it’s parents and grandparents who can really use Edie and Sarah’s work to help their kids get along in life.

Abby the antelope lives on a Montana prairie with her antelope family. Longing to be a special antelope and stand out from the rest of the herd, Abby goes through her own animal identity struggles. But in the end, she becomes “happy with just the way she was.”

It’s a great story to read to the kids!

Word on the street is that “Abby” is just the first in a series of kids books based on — “Montana’s Captivating Characters”— by the Edie/Sarah team. Abby the Antelope can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Walmart for $14.99.

“Born and raised in this beautiful state, we feel blessed to be provided with endless inspiration.” — Edie Vogel

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1. Feature—Will the North Coast Hiawatha Be Reborn?

2. Walley Whacker Contest-Part #2

3. Where’s this Picture?

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